Friday, January 21, 2011

1st updates in 2011

Hey all! =p Here comes my 1st update.. Well, wad can I say abt the past christmas and new year in KL here? hrmm, Christmas was amazing perhaps. I do think that it is, cos i get to celebrate with all my dear sisters.. Which make me damn happy. But rite now not really in the mood... Seriously, i always feel that happiness don't last long with me. Maybe, im fated to have to face things when I'm happy? Lolx! Well... hrmmm..

最近家里发生了很多东西。让我很烦。快要新年乐呀。 真的不懂得为什么每一次新年之前一定要有这种东东啦。。。 很不幸的我,things were related to me. 突然很害怕要回家。=( 很不想去面对阿! 谁让,我一直告诉我自己说,没关系拉Aurelia, 有没有这个家,NVM ONE! 从小到大,我都是这样的过。什么苦,多难听的,多难受的,多难看的,你都经历过!这些,sap sap sui lar! 还有,比起很多很多的人,我这些,孙什么啦!

有时候,觉得自己很没有用。活在这个世界上,根本没有用。 很想放弃生后的我,感觉很累。迷了。

The good thing is that, I can really start planning my own future now... Though i still scared it may be a waste of time like before. Cos all my hope, plan and dreams is like rubbish. Ppl can just simply come in and smash up and ruin up everything. The more i dont let them to do so, the worst it get. Money money money money money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear that I will fucking earn a lot of money to throw them at ur face =x Ok! I won't throw it at your face. I rather donate it to the poor then do so... Lolx! URGH!!!!!!!!!! Don't ever fucking look down on me and the family. U're dead meat =.=!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Updates of Aureo # 7 in 2010

Hey guys! Yea I know, its been ages since i updated my blog! haha! I actually kinda forget my password and email add dy =.=! Well, i've been thinking of updating my post ever since dunnoe when. But i'm just TOO LAZY! hahahaha! So, yea, lots of things happened this few months. I've learn a lot, at the same time, grow a lot too... I experienced changes in myself. Somehow, i think and feel that its a good change. But never know la. At the end of the day, the result will prove whether its a good thing or bad thing. Still, I feel that as long as its a change, its a new thing for me and when there's new thing, means i can learn more. Life here has never been easy for me. I miss home, i miss you all back there, I swear I do miss u all. Especially when times were getting difficult here. Wish that one of u are here with me to share with me... College... Hrmmm... Real or fake ppl are hard to differentiate. Although i know that i have to use my full heart to go and feel things = = but still, sometimes its easy for me to get hurt by what ppl do.

Things that i notice myself growing from it is the feelings in me towards those fake ass! hahaha! I mean, yea, FAKERS! We all know it~ Fakers << hard to stand these ppl. But eventually, hey! I'm starting to ignore them. Pulling one by one out of ma life! =p Happy at this sense eh! I'm starting to enjoy life by doing so. Just that, sometimes, i feel something is still missing in me. I'm not sure what is it. Just kinda feel, urmm... Lonely? Dunnoe why.. But i'm ok here =) doing super fine! So no worries ^^

Seeing all of those things make me feel like 'phew, luckily i'm not involve' XD I'm happy with things now~ A life full of ignorance~ Learning not to care~ Its bad or good, at the end of the day, the results will do the talking. Thats the nature of human beings that i'm seeing, looking, experiencing, and passing through it. Hehe.. Still, thank god for granting me a big family here. Big group of big jie jie is still looking after me here. When i'm with them, i feel so damn safe and being protected. It feels like charging energy to go out and fight for wars. Cos as soon as i step into college, lots of negative things happening there.

One more thing that makes me happy is that, this few months, i feel that i'm closer to god dy =) Its like a miracle. I remember the other nite i prayed to god. Telling him i feel like giving up dy. Cried and cried on the bed. Yet, the next day, i feel a lot better. My heart, feel so light. That i think its the power of prayer =) One thing that I never quite believe in, yet, God prove to me that he is always there for me. And prove my existence in the world. (although i still feel like i dun exist sometimes) haha! Still trying to get some of the things better in my life. Especially when it comes to family.. Lately, lots of things happened. I guess i'm trying to do the ignorance part on this matter. Thats why I dun even know that i'm quite bothered by it acually =p Well, its alright~ I'm still alive ^ ^ hehe!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Updates of Aureo # 6 in 2010

Yo~ Have not update my blog for quite some time.. Don't expect something good from this blog cos i just dun feel good and looking for some place to buang sampah =.=! damn!!!

When I woke up this morning, I've got a feeling of 'don't wanna face reality'. This feeling is exactly like one or two years back, when I don't feel myself is worth on earth at all. The feeling of ' I am a burden' really strikes me again. It has been a while ever since I've Found back myself to be a useful person in this world, in the family and so on. Regret? Do I? Was it because of I din't even think of anyone when I'm doing and making decision? Or was it, the fact is that, this world is really that reality My choice, my needs, and what I want is just very simple. I just want to go my way. My very own way to determine my own results and future! I don't wanna REGRET in the sense of my OWN FUTURE!

Holding on to the decision now, isnt something easy that anyone can think of and know! What ele have I not done good enough? Never did I, complain or argue about anything! I always tell myself that as long as I know what am I doing, nothing else matter! But just for God's sake, Let me choose! My life is mine! I know what is best for me! I'm seriously tired! I hold till I'm tired! I on;t say out its not because I'm worried or what. It's because, I'm use to it! I don't want others to suffer! Unlike you! You say I never think for others, how about you???!!!! How much have you actually think for all of us? All you know is do AND complain! Thats all! Finish!! How much fear do I have to struggle because of your decision, DO YOU EVEN CARE??!!!!

You never try to understand other's situation! And u only know how to complain and say how others don't understand you situation! Stop being so fucking damn negative! (sorry for the bad words readers) = =! I'm really frustrated and pissed rite now. I have my reason of not wanting decisions like that too... I think the past has really starting to effect my reactions on things and the uncomfortableness of it... Who can I go to now? =( I don't even have a choice.. How do I make a decision now? Anyone can guide me? I'm starting to lose myself my soul... Oh god.. Help me pls.. i beg for ur pardon. T.T

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Updates of Aureo # 5 in 2010

=( Sociology paper 2moro and im damn so not in the study mood~! Dunnoe why... When i get the music off, i feel so empty and lonely which makes me not comfortable with it and can't get my ass to start learning T.T When i on the music, dammit = =! I will keep singing and sound it in my head~ Owhh WTF! Someone pls help me =.=!!!

I realized that I can't study alone? or shud i say, i can't be alone? cos alone makes me feel lonely? =.=!!! Shit! Where has the brave and all-so-no-matter Aurelia been to? I felt so lost these few weeks.... Felt so speechless on things that happens sometimes... And get so far explode for small things i presume? Grrrr~!! Stop being so lost and blur lar Aure =.=!!! I beh tahan ar~!!

Can't wait for exam to finsih! Can't wait to have answers on things that I'm supposed to know! Can't wait for response from those who wanna rent the room next door! Can't wait to plan for everything before i get my ass back to kch and relive a bit! Can't wait for mich and the rest to come over to KL and go insane together! DAMN! So many can't wait!!! Wad is wrong with me? URGH!!!!!! Pissed!!!! Frust!!! Or was it just... stressed?? =.=!! I also dunnoe T.T

But I'm glad and happy in one thing, in one decision that I've made today. Which is, I volunteered to mom that I will perform during grandpa's 81st bday this year!! Wuahahahahahahahahahaha!! Omg! Its so not like me? @@!!! But i give myself a reason is that, i can learn and gain something from this! And yes! I knw I can XD Geeeezzzz~!!! I'm really going crazy liao = =!!!!!!!!!!

I told Deb last nite that I really need someone to talk to.. Feel like got many things in my heart that I wanna throw out... Dunnoe wanna throw where =.=!!!! Not comfortable with it =( damn damn damn!!! And last of all, Its still test 2morO!!!!!! Shit =.=!!! Still stuck in chapter.... 1? =.= zzzzzz~! I know =.=!!! Get someone to beat me up barh~ I really feel so damn down this few days... Dunnoe apasal~ Haihz! k lar~ tata~!!!!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Updates of Aureo # 4 in 2010

Promoting another songs here =p lolx! This may be the 1st best song in 2010 that i've heard! I'm not sure whether this song is published or not~! I heard it from bubble's blog and it water's my eyes!! For those who dont understand hokkien, its okie, i've got the lyric for u guys XD hahahaha! And for bananas like me, pin yin one also got geh =p This song was created by this gal from 'xin guang da dao'. Their duet was awesome!!! I super love the 'pei ying' (2nd voice)! Urggh!!! I wanna dl the song T.T!! Wonder if it's published? =( hrmmm~! Will search for it later =p



阿嬤的白頭鬃

故鄉的暗暝 總是有尚光的月娘
紅紅的庄仔厝 常常出現置阮夢中
是阿嬤手內抱著阮 站置亭仔腳
講著古早的故事 唱著古早的歌


阿爸跟阿母 置城市塊打拼
很久 很久 不曾返來看我
是阿嬤手內抱著阮 叫阮要好好仔走
不管未來的路途是按怎 阮永遠是伊的心肝


阮是阿嬤的囝仔 伊用雙手把阮晟養大
阮一工 一工大漢 伊越行腳步踏越慢
阮是阿嬤的囝仔 我跟伊兩個人來作伴
阮睏置伊的背上 抬頭就看見伊的白頭鬃 伊的白頭鬃


大漢的時陣 我也到城市去打拼
很久 很久 不曾返來看阿嬤
出外走奔這多冬 才知影只有伊是尚疼我
想欲回去給他擁 擱聽伊唱彼條囝仔歌


阮是阿嬤的囝仔 伊用雙手把阮晟養大
阮一工 一工大漢 伊越行腳步踏越慢
阮是阿嬤的囝仔 我跟伊兩個人來作伴
阮睏置伊的背上 抬頭就看見伊的白頭鬃 阿嬤的白頭鬃


是我永遠的 思念

Pin yin lyric

ā mó de bái tóu zōng

gù xiāng de àn míng zǒng shì yǒu shàng guāng de yuè niáng
hóng hóng de zhuāng zǎi cuò cháng cháng chū xiàn zhì ruǎn mèng zhōng
shì ā mó shǒu nà bào zhe ruǎn zhàn zhì tíng zǎi jiǎo
jiǎng zhe gǔ zǎo de gù shì chàng zhe gǔ zǎo de gē


ā bà gēn ā mǔ zhì chéng shì kuài dǎ pīn
hěn jiǔ hěn jiǔ bú céng fǎn lái kàn wǒ
shì ā mó shǒu nà bào zhe ruǎn jiào ruǎn yào hǎo hǎo zǎi zǒu
bú guǎn wèi lái de lù tú shì àn zěn ruǎn yǒng yuǎn shì yī de xīn gān


ruǎn shì ā mó de jiǎn zǎi yī yòng shuāng shǒu bǎ ruǎn shèng yǎng dà
ruǎn yī gōng yī gōng dà hàn yī yuè háng jiǎo bù tà yuè màn
ruǎn shì ā mó de jiǎn zǎi wǒ gēn yī liǎng gè rén lái zuò bàn
ruǎn kùn zhì yī de bèi shàng tái tóu jiù kàn jiàn yī de bái tóu zōng yī de bái tóu zōng


dà hàn de shí zhèn wǒ yě dào chéng shì qù dǎ pīn
hěn jiǔ hěn jiǔ bú céng fǎn lái kàn ā mó
chū wài zǒu bēn zhè duō dōng cái zhī yǐng zhī yǒu yī shì shàng téng wǒ
xiǎng yù huí qù gěi tā yōng gē tīng yī chàng bǐ tiáo jiǎn zǎi gē


ruǎn shì ā mó de jiǎn zǎi yī yòng shuāng shǒu bǎ ruǎn shèng yǎng dà
ruǎn yī gōng yī gōng dà hàn yī yuè háng jiǎo bù tà yuè màn
ruǎn shì ā mó de jiǎn zǎi wǒ gēn yī liǎng gè rén lái zuò bàn
ruǎn kùn zhì yī de bèi shàng tái tóu jiù kàn jiàn yī de bái tóu zōng ā mó de bái tóu zōng


shì wǒ yǒng yuǎn de sī niàn

This song seriously make me think of my grandma too =( After i listen to it, yea, i wish that she was still here with me... I remembered those time where i was realy afraid of being alone... After she left me, I regret that i din't give her a last kiss on the day she left where my aunt asked me to give her. Whenever i think back, i feel that its like her last wish from me, but i din't even give her =( I always give myself an excuse that, =p that time was still small! lolx! zzzz! I also wanna xie xie my ah ma here... Thanks for looking after me that time. If its not becos of ur trust, Not only two years of suffer for me... hehe~ thanks ah ma!!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Updates of Aureo # 3 in 2010

Okie!! For those who hate sarcastic-ism, U may skip this post!! Cos i'm gonna be super damn sarcastic here!!!! Damn damn!!! Someone fucking fucked up my mood at this time!! Which make me fucking think that she is fucking cheap =.=!!! okie~ wad's wrong with me? So many F word~~ zzzz paiseh!! Damn angry!! So wad??! My blog wad! I can blog and say anything that i want lar... lalalalalala~~ Blek!!! I damn hate those who cos of their BF come and choi su with the ppl she so called FRIEND lor!!! Diam lar!!!! If this is wad u call fren, then , sorry lar! Siam far far pls!!! I was just being the TRUE me for telling u wad I really think abt ur Ass-hole bf lor!!! So wad?? Couldnt be if i knw and think that he is sux, i go and act infront of u??? And for ur info, this is not call backstabbed lor!!!! If ur english really so damn teruk and dun even know wad is the meaning of BACKSTABBED, pls lar! Google the meaning lar! haiyo!! If u dun wanna hear then dun ask lar... Diu~!! Stupid!!! wad u expect me to say?? like this?? >> *Oh, he's a really good guy, Omg! He's so handsome (fucking ugly lar pls) or, OMG!! so leng zai lor*shyshy*??!!! PLS LAR!!! *vomit gao gao* Do wad fren like that?? Do till like that i rather don't want this type of fren lor =.=!! Ceh!!! Come my place, sleep my bed, eat my shit, play my comp! I got treat u very bad merh now? Ask me to watch my word while i talk?? If u din fucking make me angry, i wont fucking talk like that lor =.=!!! Post shout out big big lar!!! Lai lar~! Who scared who??? If only Im freaking free now, i sure fight gao gao with u one~ Haihz!! Exam~!! Boh eng want hiew u liao!! This blog is just to give me throw out my anger!!! Throw liao i feel much betterr!! muahahahahhahahahah~!!! And hor! Thanks to u for teaching me a lesson lar~! I will always remember that ppl will eventually Change for the person that they love lor! I tell u, if u change, its ok.. But if u change and ignore ur frenship, then that sux!! Badly!! Hope u wont come crying to us anymore saying this and that! Wish u the best of luck with that fucking beast!!! waahahahahahhahahaha! I'm so curel man! Yeah! Wadeva!! Just being me! Last of all! I WANT MY MONEY BACK T.T

ps: Dun take it too hard! Just a post on my blog to express my anger on this event! lalalalala~! XD

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Updates of Aureo # 2 in 2010

I'm gonna intro u guys a very special place in this post! XD A place where they use toilet concept = =!!!! Sound interesting lerh?? nyahahahahah! Nat is at KL and her mom asked her to tried out at this shop called 'T-bowl" located at the 3rd floor of sungei wang! The food there was not bad and the price quite reasonable! Dare urself to go in there and sit down and order the food and last of all, taste it!!!!! Get my meaning from my picture =p =p =pThe menu XD
Look at the so called ice cream =.=!!! damn disgusting!!!vanilla flavour 'sai'? grrrr >.<"""" THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING ICE CREAM THAT I'VE EVER SEEN THROUGHOUT MY 18 YEARS ON EARTH!!!! *uek uek*
And this one!!! Look like the person that kena scare diok shit out punya sai = =!!! Cos green green one!!! Yerrr~!! geli uiiii Errrrr = =!! This one hor, is the food that i order.. Really look like sai T.T But hor, the taste is NOT BAD WOR!!!!! = =!!!!!This is nat's one... Look at how they serve it!! Guess wad nat's bf asked her when she told him how they serve her dish?? He say, then, u got eat diok 'sai' borh inside there? =.=!!! OMG!! Feel like vomitting when i heard it!!! Grrrrr~~~My pretty drink =p lolx! I love the colour... XD
Nat's drink! I still think mine looks prettier! ngek ngek =pIce blendded smth smth = =!! Forget the name liao! But this is a warning! For those who can't really take sour drinks, DO NOT ORDER THIS ONE XD lolx! Too sour till i can't even finish it... ZzzzCheese baked scalop =p not bad! XD

Now! Let me show u guys wad were we sitting on!!
*TADA!!*
WE WERE SITTING ON THE TOILET BOWL!!! = =! wad's interesting is that, it comes with various colour and design for the cover!!!! *woot* XD

Lai! I show u guys the covers XD

hahahahahhahaha! That's all! XD We sat at the outside of the shop~ Curious on how the inside look like! The next time i go, i wanna sit inside liao XD Go and have a try there! I dare u guys to! hahahahahhaaha!